The quick path to heartbreak is through expectations.

The title of this blog post is actually a quote I found on Pinterest. In that quote it states that the quick path to heartbreak is through expectations. I sat there for a moment and the quote really resonated within me.

So what is an expectation as it pertains to relationships? It’s simple, it’s the fantasy world you’ve bent around your reality so that you can validate red flags you are sub consciously seeing.

Lets paint a picture. Guy breaks up with girl, from there he now enters the stages of grief. A lot of people tend to get stuck in the DENIAL phase. And this is the phase where expectations start creeping in.

First let me paint the reality. Guy breaks up with girl, that’s your reality.

Expectations is what you build around this pain so that your rational mind can make sense of it. Your mind is playing a trick on you to lessen the blow of the stress that’s now impacting you.

Expectation’s usually manifest themselves as an inner voice, which is actually your ego. and it sounds like this “Damn this sucks, she broke up with me but I know it’s probably because of school, she’s been telling me how hard its getting. I’ll give this some time”

This is not the correct way to deal with loss! You cannot force anybody to love you or stay with you. And creating reasons or things to “talk” about just annoy and piss people off. Expectations is the root of insecurity. You are so insecure about your world that you are literally making shit up just to get by.

If more folks accepted their reality then they would understand that the world is actually a pretty simple place. And heartbreak yeah it hurts but it really isn’t THAT bad.

And Expectations don’t even have to be about break ups. They can literally be about anything in life that gives a result.

You moved into a new city for your job and don’t know anybody. REALITY
You think going to work, coming home and watching TV will improve your social life. EXPECTATION 

Need to go out and make something happen and take charge of my social life REALITY
If I say hi to people they’ll think i’m weird. EXPECTATION
So i’ll just stand here and dream about our lives together. REALITY 

Do you see the pattern? Own up to your reality from the ground up and you will begin to take charge of your life by eliminating expectations.

The problem with relationship blogs like this is to much information. Confusion is your enemy.

So I just want to lay this out to you all out there. The simple problem with relationship blogs like this one is that for the most part people only tend to come to them when they are looking for insight on one of two things. How to get over a breakup or how to figure out how to land a relationship. Of course there are some things in between but the fact of the matter is those are the two big ones.

More so the problem with relationship blogs is that a lot of them give different advice depending on the situation but one side of the button is what they tell you to do in the face of a breakup. This is hands down the topic where you get a biggest range of answers.

There are blogs out there written by women that say no contact is emotional abuse and that its childish and you won’t get what you want by ignoring the other person. Excuse me?! The reality of no contact is it’s never about getting what you want, its about YOU. All you want is to mend your broken heart how the fuck are you gonna do that by being friends with your ex? You don’t, in fact it just gets worse especially if they’re moving on and you’re over there being captain friendship.

Consider this point, being the listening ear and the comforting voice to your lady can actually damage your chances to get back with your woman. Why? It’s simple because if her current guy or the person she’s talking to or her friends who are giving her support are bad listeners or don’t offer the sage like wisdom you do she will see that you are in fact the better man. Because you did listen and you did make her feel safe and comforted. That speaks volumes to a woman’s emotional response towards you. Taking that away just shows her that you are indeed important. And besides you didn’t ask her to break up with you she did. So don’t listen to those who would make you feel like an idiot for walking away.

Let me be firm here. Any advice blog that tells you that being friends with your ex is beneficial are straight up misleading you. Yes you can be friend with your ex but in the face of a break up that’s the last thing you want. You need to take some time for self reflection and allow yourself to see the picture from a distance. You may find that you don’t even want this other person around.

Another point is there are blogs out there written by some pretty jaded people that will tell you that you should be in limited contact with your ex so that she doesn’t get over you and erase you from her life. Don’t listen to that shit! You are not going to get erased from her life. I can guarantee you that if I dial any of my ex’s right now or send a text, while they may not respond they will remember me. Good or bad you are engraved into their mind like a stone carving. Think about it, all the woman you’ve dated have you forgotten any of them? NO.

The long and the short of it is. Don’t browse tons of blogs looking for a certain answer because the right answer is never black and white. Everybody is different. But the one universal code of conduct in ANY breakup situation, EVEN IF YOU WANT TO BE FRIENDS. Is that you need to remove yourself from the situation for a little bit of time. You need to allow yourself to adjust, to get back to the old you. It sickens me how people out there are misinforming the broken hearted.

Trust me when I say this. Take the time you need to gather the pieces of your heart up. When you glue them all back together and put it back in your chest. That’s when you can reproach friendship.

Here’s an important point based on my experience and observations. Outside of immediate reconciliations, and by immediate I mean a few months. The only time getting back together works in the long run is if the two partners have a time apart. Usually after several months maybe even a year or so one of two things happen. There’ s a deep and loving friendship that forms which is equal parts amazing and beautiful or there’s a profound reconciliation and a new more mature relationship forms. Both scenarios are good and both can bring satisfaction to your life. We’re all in this together and we’ve all been down the road you may be on right now. Follow the signs that others who have objectively looked at their situation have placed down for you and stay true to it.

You’ll be happier in the long run.

You won’t heal if you don’t let go.

So you broke up, it happens.

But some part of you holds on, and some part of her holds on. You guys stay in limited contact but you have this nagging feeling in your heart that you’re still hurting. You’re still wanting and you’re still thinking about if there’s a chance.

first and foremost allow yourself time to heal. If the woman who broke your heart is making it difficult to go no contact on her and sends breadcrumb text’s that’s only because her ego is getting hurt or she’s also experiencing some doubt and withdrawal from you. All the while staying in the picture and scrambling to make moves to move on before you like it’s some kind of race.

So you sit there and wonder how the FUCK do you get back your old self? The ONLY way you will heal and get back to your old confident self and not this sappy, rerun watching binge drinking person you’ve become is to stop all contact.

I must sound like a broken record but no contact is the only way you can heal your heart. At first it’ll be hard but I promise you after a week of solid no contact that pain will feel lighter and then a week later lighter even more and so on and so on.

I can safely say I don’t speak to any of my ex’s and anybody who does is a huge red flag to me because that means they never resolve their problems they just sweep them under the rug and cling to the past. Either that or they have issues letting go which is also a red flag because that means somewhere is an ex boyfriend they talk to who is probably still on the ropes and in that unstable environment you’re just asking for trouble.

But cutting contact ALL OF IT, is the only way to pull yourself out of the fire and into a better position. Keep telling yourself OUT LOUD that you need this. That you want to feel good again and want to be able to look at yourself in the mirror and not feel regret and heartache.

If you don’t let yourself let go of all the things you fear to lose. Then you will never find happiness again in your own company. Don’t fall into a codependent slump where you feel the need to have your existence validated by having someone at your side.

Because then you’ll start to settle or you’ll cling to a woman in a friendship you don’t want in the slim almost non existent chance you two will get back together. And when you realize you have settled you’ll be even more miserable than you are now.

Posting this reminds me of a thread I read on a relationship forum where a man was over the hill trying to find a way to get and keep his ex. A lot of time passed and in a unusual turn of events he actually posted an update almost two years later about how much happier he is having recovered on his own, and landed himself a woman who treats him BETTER than his ex. He even went on to state that when he looked back at all the things he felt and said and went through with his ex. He couldn’t even believe it and he was honestly embarrassed at his old self that he would have even went that far. The ironic part is he had a snap shot of his ordeal in perfectly preserved internet form. How amazing is that to see the new you look back at the old you and realize holy shit I was dumb.

That will be you in the long run, happy and with another partner who respects and cares for you. You just need to take that first step.

Be cautious of very insecure women. They may burn you.

I know what you’re thinking you’re thinking how can an insecure woman burn me?

Well its simple. But lets break down what insecurity really is.

insecurity is by definition “uncertainty or anxiety about oneself; lack of confidence.” In a woman’s world this plays out in two different ways.

1. She’s very shy and introverted but slightly open to advances it just takes time for her to realize she’s talking to a great guy and gradually she will open up more. Sex may come on slow but when it comes on she’ll be open to try new things with you and generally accept you as her lover.

2. She’s very outgoing when with others and overly flirtatious, she doesn’t respect boundaries and has a higher tendency to cheat because of the validation that she gets from men who adore her and like her sexually.

Now you may be thinking this guy its fucking nuts. How can a girl be insecure AND outgoing at the same time. Unfortunately this is usually what insecure women act like. The way to tell HOW insecure she is. See how many ex’s she still keeps in touch with, how many friends she actually has and if she’s cheated on anybody in the past or had lots of flings and casual relationships.

You will find a shocking discovery, that she can count ALL her friends on one hand using maybe two or three fingers. You will also find that she’s had a lot of casual hook ups, doesn’t get along well with other females unless those females are either equal or below her level and share the same interest in attitude. And you’ll also find there is a history of cheating as well as keeping in touch with almost all of her ex’s in some form or fashion. This is NOT good for a long term engagement with this woman.

This is why you must be cautious of insecure women because its a HUGE red flag. Things may go strong but as she becomes more attached she’ll start to be upset when you want to do your own thing or if you have female friends who are pretty. Or don’t spend every moment on the phone or in person with her. It will cause her to silently resent you and ultimately leave you or cheat on you.

This isn’t for all insecure women but most have this tendency. They seek validation and once they have it from you depending on their nature they may seek out new forms of romance to rekindle that “honeymoon” phase people get when they first meet someone new. They love the attention a new guy gives them and have a higher tendency to commit emotional infidelity which arrives once again at cheating.

As always look at the larger picture and just be cautious. You’ve been warned.

Ditched because of poor sexual performance.

Got a reader question. And in summary of it basically he was dumped because of poor sexual performance due to porn addiction and then replaced by another man.

It happens in the dating world. Your performance isn’t up to peak or you may be recovering or experiencing issues with porn related sexual dysfunction. But I want you to understand the basis of sex in a relationship.

First off. If sex is the top priority of your mate. Then you’re in it to fail. Consider this. When the two of you are old and grey the chances of banging it out in the backseat of a Toyota Camry doesn’t seem so appealing does it.

And while sex is important in a relationship it shouldn’t be the basis on which a relationship ended because everything sexual can be improved with some patience and communication, all you need is a partner who is nurturing and cares about you.

Here’s the thing people. When a woman drops you and claims it was the lack of sex or the sex just wasn’t up to par. Or really any superficial reason such as that. Keep your ear to the wind and you’ll find that she’s actually dating someone else or at least talking to another man. In the readers case, she came right out and told him she met someone new.

This like so many other “problems” are just a smoke screen. A way to alleviate guilt by putting most of the blame on you rather than on them. It helps with the moving on process.

So here is my advice to you. First of all ditch the porn, depending on the severity of your addiction it could take up to 90 days for your normal libido to take over. Once that happens the next girl you meet you’ll be able to perform and achieve erections easily as the sight of her naked body will be more than enough to excite you.

The problem with porn induced sexual dysfunction is inside the brain is a dynamic shift in how it perceives stimulation. When you masturbate often and to porn you are surging your brain with dopamine which is the feel good drug your body gives your brain when you orgasm, so essentially you are “bonding” with the porn you see on screen and creating an atmosphere where porn is the only thing you get turned on to. Which is why when men get addicted to porn the develop self esteem issues and are somewhat indifferent about the opposite sex. Its quite the conundrum one part of your brain wants a woman but the part that controls your sexual desire and the feeling of wanting wants you to just chill out with a pack of smokes and your favorite porn.

To test how bad your condition is do the following.

Masturbate with porn without going to orgasm and see how hard your erection is. Then in the same sitting turn off the porn and with stimulation alone with no porn fantasies or imagery in your mind see if you can achieve the same level of erection.

If you can achieve a full erection with porn and cannot without it. You have a confirmed case of Porn Induced Erectile dysfunction, otherwise known as PIED.

If you can achieve a full erection with porn and without porn but cannot perform with a real partner then you have anxiety based sexual dysfunction.

If you cannot achieve a full erection with or without porn you either have a acute case of PIED or a health problem if under 50. And should consult your doctor if that’s the case.

Above all reader, neither porn or your sexual performance were part of the issue here. its the fact she met another man and you two were only dating for 14 months. But you do need to rehabilitate your habits though so that you can have a much more fulfilling sex life and you’ll actually have a different mindset on women in general as your brain begins to rewire itself around the 60 day mark.

For a comprehensive website listing testimonials, doctor approvals and media coverage head to http://www.yourbrainonporn.com/ 

 

Keys to the machine wishes you a happy new year!

I just want to say to you all who follow this blog and to those who are new here, all trying to grasp understanding of your everyday social lives to have a fantastic near years.

Before I leave for tonights festivities I want to leave you with this.

If you’re feeling sad about having to be alone on new years. There’s nothing wrong with that at all. Just because you don’t have as many friends as you want or don’t have somebody to kiss when the clock strikes 12 doesn’t mean you’re a failure at life.

Just because your girlfriend left you and is about to have the time of her life with her new boy toy. Doesn’t mean a damn thing because you’re better off without that mess in your life.

The new year isn’t about love its about LIFE. It’s another year ahead of you to make big things happen in your life. It’s about letting go of the past and its about moving towards a future you can really smile about. And you will get there. Rome wasn’t built in a day. And the road to improving ones self is an arduous journey, but its that journey that will make you a stronger person.

So fire up some Big Bang Theory or whatever show you like and have a marathon! Drink something. Put a smile on your face! Because this next year. Is YOUR YEAR. 

 

What to do when your Ex just wants to be friends

Coming out of the holiday season is also the season where a lot of breakups happen. And if you think about it there’s a lot of sense in the matter. Many men and women choose to have companionship during the holidays because nobody likes to go it alone during times of jubilation and some heated romance. It’s usually after the holidays that those who stuck around because they didn’t want to drop the hammer on the relationship during such a “warm” time maybe out of guilt maybe out of something else are now “obligation” free.

So usually 9 times out of 10 what ends up happening is your ex will break apart from you and let you know they want to be friends. Your first reaction is to say fine, because lets face it you’re still in love with this person. But this comes with its own pro’s and con’s.

On the pro side you have an open line of communication with your ex and its easier to rekindle any potential romance because of that line of communication. It also makes it potentially easier to phase yourself out and honestly become just a good friend with your ex. Now if that sounds favorable to you then yes you should be friends with your ex. but this is honestly where the pro’s stop.

The con’s are far more numerous. See if you allow yourself to be friendzoned by your ex she will lose all attraction in you and you may as well be her dickless companion who will never touch her romantically ever again. Also the pain you endure as she moves on and you stay still hoping that she’ll come around to you again is beyond comprehension. unrequited love is the worst type of punishment any man or women can put upon themselves causing high stress, anxiety, depression and various other sub symptoms associated with those major symptoms like loss of appetite, seclusion and substance abuse.

The only way anybody can get anybody back is by allowing them to understand what life without you is actually like. Now this also comes with pro’s and con’s. Life without you may be amazing and she’s finally rid of the thing in her life that caused her the most stress.

on the pro side however you will cause her to think inward and perhaps start realizing that all those inside jokes, the laughs the good times always having someone you just click with around you as something she actually desires an perhaps in a moment of confusion, fear or introspection made a mistake in letting you go.

The point is, is if your ex says lets be friends you’re nothing but a friend to me. And you’re still in love with this person ask yourself this. Would you want to see her cuddled up to her new guy? kissing a new guy? getting married to a new guy? Moving in with a new guy? all while she goes to you to tell you about this cool TV show they watched or this cool thing they did together that you’ve always wanted to do but it never materialized.

Does that sound like something you want to put yourself through? Probably not. So When your ex says lets be friends. Just let her know. NO that’s not what I want and if we’re breaking up then let it be just that. Don’t allow yourself to become her emotional crutch somebody she unloads all her negative energy on while keeping her new squeeze free from the battle zone. It’s not your responsibility to make others happy. YOU deserve to be happy also and you’re not going to get that by pining over someone who doesn’t give a shit about you! You get that by grabbing your balls and walk the hell away. Like any man would!

You think James Bond accepts a friendship request and watches on the sideline while his woman gets ravaged by her new squeeze hoping that maybe she’ll realize during all the crazy sex and amazing times that he’s the one for her? HELL NO.

So when I say walk away, you de-friend her from Facebook, don’t answer text’s or calls total radio silence for at least a month and just try and enjoy your life without her. In that time you’ll have a better perspective on your situation. And you’ll actually allow her to miss you a little bit and realize that she lost a great guy. And if she doesn’t realize this. Then who cares obviously you cared more than she did and is that someone you want to try and manipulate back into your life only for it to end again months later?  NO!

Here’s a final thought. I believe that friendship request from ex’s are usually out of guilt. They feel bad and at that moment they aren’t really thinking about you. It’s all about them. Maybe they are going through something but the point is deciding to end it with you and keeping you hooked as a friend isn’t allowing them to miss you. It’s you allowing them to heal the damage in their heart while they get ready to ACTUALLY get rid of you for good!

By leaving the situation you are forcing them to just do without you. They wanted this! So give them what they want. If you really want to be a “Friend” then just give them what they want. Leave and don’t come back. It’s usually in the times of absence and its happened to me MANY TIMES. That I realized holy shit. I actually really liked them what the hell did I do. What the fuck is my problem?!

I actually strung along a woman for two years. I never committed to her and I never really showed her to much affection. But the problem with me at the time was I was going through some personal shit and I was very damaged from my last relationship. I couldn’t give love because I didn’t love myself. Did I like her? YES Did I want to be with her? YES. But it wasn’t until she finally moved on after crying over me for months asking me why? Telling me she’s willing to work through the tough times that I realized that Jesus christ I fucked up! But it was to late. I already crushed her heart under my boot.

That’s where you need to be with your ex. YOU DON’T WANT TO BE HER FRIEND you want to BE HER LOVER. Friendship is rooted in successful relationships and if she really wants you in her life it’ll be so. You just have to show her what life without is like. Nothing else will make it right but your absence. And at the end if she puts the decision in your hand you can decide at that point if its really what you want.

Cast out your fear and become a better you

“The fear of loss is the path to the darkside” – Jedi Master Yoda

“I have spent my whole life scared. Frightened of things that could happen, might happen, might not happen. Fifty years I spent like that. Finding myself awake at three in the morning. But you know what? Ever since my diagnosis, I sleep just fine. And I came to realize, it’s that fear that’s the worst of it. That’s the real enemy. So get up. Get out in the real world. And you kick that bastard as hard as you can right in the teeth.” – Walter White (Breaking Bad)

“It is better to conquer yourself than to win a thousand battles. Then the victory is yours. It cannot be taken from you, not by angels or by demons, heaven or hell.” – Buddha

You see fear stifles your emotions and artificially restricts your movement through life.

It stops you from saying “Hi” to that cute girl in line. Because she may ignore you

It prevents you from asking your boss for that raise you know you deserve. Because they might say no

Stops you from trying that one thing that you’ve always wanted to try. Because you may not like it

Prevents you from moving on from a bad relationship Because you fear being alone

It holds you hostage. suffocating you. Unable to move or to think clearly. BUT

If you are able to cast out your fear and bend it to your will. As long as you’ve made the best of what you have. Live the best you can and understand and accept the things you cannot change.

that is the moment you’ll realize that fear is something you embrace. You are your own master. And at the end of the day the worst enemy you face is the person that stares back at you when you look into the mirror.

When you can look that person in the eye. Yourself. And say today I will do what I’ve always wanted, Say what I need to, feel what I want to! You’ll have won not just the day, but the war.

Don’t fade into the crowd be the person the crowd follows.

How to handle a woman who flakes on you last minute.

This one is really simple. So I’m going to make this the most on point post in this entire blog because the answer is an obvious one.

Depending on the nature of the flake if it was or wasn’t a true emergency there’s really no excuse for a flake. Its rude and it really sub-communicates that the person who flaked on you really has no respect for you or your time.

If this is a girl you’ve gone on dates in the past and has never flaked and all the sudden they start flaking their interest in you is dwindling. 

If this is a girl you’ve just got to know and have never been on a date and she flaked then the chances were her interest in you was never really high. 

But the standard when it comes to flaking where it’s acceptable is that its only acceptable in the face of a true emergency. Outside of that friends or otherwise flaking is unacceptable so what do you do?

Acknowledge the flake if they texted you or called you last minute and just say “OK” that’s it. It’s really that simple. “OK” those two letters will have so much weight to them because it sub-communicates that you acknowledged their flake and are indifferent with it. And that’s that.

Then don’t text or respond to any incoming text for the rest of the day/night. Or until she starts to show true remorse for having flaked out on you Or text or call her a couple days later like nothing even happened schedule another date and see if she flakes again. Here’s the trick though the only time a woman will actually come at you if you ignore her is if she has attraction in you. If she does then let her come to you and only respond to the text where she seems legitimately remorseful or asking for some type of reconciliation. Or she offers up an alternate time. Or do as I said above and hit her up a couple days later like the flake never took place and set up another date. See if she flakes again. If she does. SHE’S OUT.

Anything less isn’t worth your time. And if she had no attraction or interest in you to begin with her reciprocated silence will also be a telling sign that you just need to move on.

And that’s that. Trust me when I say you will not LOSE the girl if you ignore her text’s after she flaked in fact you will show her how indifferent you are to her and that she’s not really needed for you to enjoy your days or nights it will only make you appear more as a strong independent man who doesn’t take shit from people.

She knows exactly what she did and why she did it. She’s actually waiting for you to sit down by her lap with your tongue out like a dog and wait for more “treats” from her. You are not a dog nor are you a doormat. Asking for explanations, showing any type of anger or attempting to guilt her will do you NO GOOD. Also begging is simply pathetic so please don’t reduce yourself to begging for another day (“Ohh that sucks how’s Tuesday then? No? what about Thursday? No? what about Saturday”)

SILENCE IS GOLDEN my friend. There are many reason’s why that adage holds true.

Quick story : I had a girl flake on me stating that she was just going to stay home and do some arts and crafts stuff basically she flaked on me to do some painting. And that’s exactly what she did she painted some pretty cool shit. But in retrospect painting isn’t really a good reason to flake out on someone. She had tried to text me afterwards later that night to show me the stuff she painted. I never responded until midway into the next day and said cool paintings. She asked what’s wrong I told her nothing. More silence followed and she offered up a rescheduled date.

My silence indicated indifference not anger or me being bitter and hurt it just communicated if you got better shit to do then so do I.

Trust in the power of yourself people silence is truly golden.

When she hides your relationship on social media, trouble may be brewing.

Lets be honest here. We are all plugged into the virtual world of social media. We do it to catch up with friends who have moved out of state. And we also do it to keep tabs on what all of our friends are doing when we can’t see them. We laugh we read we hit “like” and overall its a pretty enjoyable experience.

But when a woman hides your relationship on social media that is cause for concern.

You may be Mr. Confident but something smells fishy when nobody knows you two are together, got back together or anything in between. There’s a distinct void in the mix and that’s a huge red flag. Let me explain.

First of all most younger woman are huge into social media. If they have no problem posting drunk selfies with the girls or drunk pictures with the other members of your double date. Then why aren’t you included in any of them?

More than likely she’s doing this because she wants to keep whatever you two got going on. on the wraps. She wants to appear single or she doesn’t want to rouse any negative attention from someone that she may be more interested in. This unfortunately also raises the red flag of this woman may be one of those who just need a stable BETA PROVIDER at their side so that they always have a soft cushion to land on or a warm body to sleep next to when things get tough and scary out in the world.

I mean really evaluate the situation. You try to take her picture and she never looks at the camera. You post pictures of just her doing something funny and all your friends like the picture but she doesn’t.

I once knew a guy who would always post pictures of his girlfriend, hell they lived together! in the pics he posted he was smiling but you could tell there was no glimmer in her eye. She seemed rather distant even in a photo. She never acknowledged any post he made about her, she never liked any pictures of herself on his page and she never engaged him in any sort of banter.

And even though he never mentioned anything to me. I saw a growing trend. And I believe he did also because as time went on he attempted to make more and more post about her. With no recognition from her. Every “funny” post he made about her was “lol’ed” at and liked by friends and family but not by the only person who mattered. HER.

Come to find the entire time she had met a long time friend from back in the day and they hit it off at first on an emotional level and then that soon turned into a physical thing. She dumped him about 5 months after her social media distance was apparent and went straight for her new guy. For which she posts about regularly.

Thing is I called that happening almost a half year before it happened. I never said anything to anybody. Call it a social experiment but I had an underlying hunch that she would EVENTUALLY split.

So when your chick isn’t making your relationship obvious when in the past she did for someone else. Or perhaps you two got back together after a break up and in the past she posted tons of pictures of you two. Made her profile shot a picture of you two. And all the sudden that’s changed to her and the girls or just selfies of herself. If she doesn’t allow anything you tag her in to appear on her timeline for her friends to see. or her undercover lover to see.

You need to take a good long look at what exactly really is going on. Because i’d bet if you kick over that unimposing damp log you’ll find plenty of nasty critters skittering away.

Also when you notice social media distance you need to take a good look at what’s going on in front of your face. If you two live together does she seem to step outside more often just to “get some air”. If you two don’t live together do you notice that at a certain time she seems to be unresponsive until the next day? Is there a certain day of the week that she “goes out with the girls” until the early morning? These are all red flags especially if they slowly sprout up one by one over time.

However most men seem to ignore these signs and think i’ll let her do her thing so I don’t seem needy and controlling. So they stay quiet until their women leave them “suddenly” when in fact it was a 6 month or maybe a year or more build up of steady increasing signs of distance all of which were ignored.

The only thing worse than fighting in a relationship is when there’s absolutely NO fighting.

Think about that for a moment and you’ll understand why that’s the worst sign of them all.

~Be well